I don't understand 'The Twitter'.  I've actually tried.  I have an IPhone and I'm on 'The Facebook' - so I'm not a complete technotard.  But Twitter just eludes me.  I have an account but I largely follow celebrity chefs and Aziz Anasari and Jon Stewart.  The thing is - I don't understand what in the hell they are saying most of the time.  I've been okay with that but lately I've been noticing this 'touch the celebrety' phenomenon.  There are people out there who seem to have made a hobby out of trying to get 'celebreties' - and I have this word in quotes here because most of these are not A-listers - to notice them or 'retweet' them.  I find this funny.  I guess it's the 21st century equivalent of an autograph.  I also get a kick out of how thin skinned most people are.  Until recently Alton Brown has been my favorite celeb chef but he made the mistake of embracing The Twitter.  Turns out he's a total pussy.  Such a shame...

Speaking of celebrity chefs, we went to Hotlanta last weekend and my sister and I dined at Woodfire Grill.  This is the restaurant of Top Chef 'second winner' Kevin Gillespie.  I'm not good enough to even call myself a 'foodie' but I do love to cook and eat and more importantly, watch people cook and eat on tv, so this was kind of a 'bucket list' experience.  What was super fun was the gravitas with which the wait staff discussed the cuisine.  I've in all seriousness heard less serious debates on Darfur. The merits of various types of BBQ were parsed down to the smallest detail and the 'Mixologist' (he called himself this without the slightest hint of shame or snark) made me an amazing cocktail that when he described the ingredients to me my response was simply 'I didn't understand most of the words you just said to me but it's delicious'.

Sorry this one is short but I've got to go pack.  Tomorrow we head to Florida because it's simply not hot enough this far north.  We need surface of the sun temperatures.  We'll be vacationing in the 'Redneck Riviera" aka Destin Fl.  Actually we'll be in Rosemary Beach with the kids and my Mother in Law.  I feel sure there will be stories.  I'll bring the computer.  Oh, and lots of vodka.

Chumbawumba Week...

In the process of 'getting up again' after a sorta crappy week.  I found out I didn't get a job I was hoping for which sucks, although in truth, it probably is for the best (as you can see the rationalization part of the process has already begun).  And there has been a pox in our house.  I hesitate writing this because at this moment only two of us have gone down with the plague aka 'stomach flu' and I fear that I've not heard the last of it.  I'm also distracted because as I type Brad is watching Wimbledon and all I can hear are the howler monkey shreaks of Ms. Sharapova.  I'd ask him to turn it off but we've been married twenty some-odd years and I can't deny him the opportunity to look at a pretty girl who is good at tennis.  I suspect he kind of likes the screams.  I find it's best not to think too long on these things.

Speaking of tennis, Audrey challenged me to a match this morning.  (I pause here for your laughter to subside).  Brad's glee at the thought of such a titanic match up was palpable.  I suspect that even if such a game should occur determining a winner may be difficult as neither of us are clear on how to keep score.

To top it all off Lilly broke her iPhone.  I know what you are thinking - what the hell kind of mother gets her 11 year old child an iPhone?  In my defense, she asked for an iTouch like all her friends have but those are freaking expensive!!  I got her an iPhone for free from ATT but she has no data plan.  I'm not insane.  WiFi only.  And between us, I actually snagged the new phone for myself and gave her my old slow 3G.  Don't tell her - I think she suspects though...

Anyhow, Lilly showed up at the door to my room looking like Audrey had been hit by a car and with a trembling hand showed me the shattered screen on her precious phone.  I have to admit I felt so bad for her.  She's actually very responsible for a kid her age and oh my sweet heavens does she love that phone?!  She texts my mother and Brad's brother good night every single night which of course they love, but the fact is - those phones are super pricey and I'm not buying her a new one.

Luckily the thing was still working so I go online to see if the screen can be fixed.  Turns out you can buy the part for like ten bucks but after watching the YouTube video on how to do it, I realized my chances of doing more harm than good were roughly 95%.  In the process I find an ad on Craigslist for a local repair guy.  Most of the places were charging $50-100 for screen repair but this guy listed $30-40.  Lilly had exactly $32 saved so I called and left a message. 

About three hours later I get a phone call:

Me:  Hello
Voice:  (super high pitched and girlish) Yes, you needed a phone fixed
Me:  Um yes.  Are you twelve?
Voice:  I'm a girl.
Me:  I could tell that part.  Are you a TWELVE year old girl?
Voice:  No.  I'm in college.
Me:  Okay.  Well, my daughter dropped her phone and I need the screen replaced.  I looked on YouTube but I'm pretty sure I'll just screw it up if I try.
Voice:  Well if you saw the YouTube video you know there is a lot to the repair.  I do most of it at home and then meet you and just replace the screen there.  Takes like 10-15 minutes.
Me:  Okay.  So, you do it in the car?!
Voice:  Yeah.  It's $30 if I use a replacement screen and $45 if it's new.
Me:  Well a replacement one is fine...
Voice:  Okay.  I'll see if I have one.  Do you want to meet tonight?  I'm actually kind of bored...
Me: (looking at the clock to see that it's 10:15 pm) Um, it's a bit late for me...how about tomorrow?
Voice:  Okay but sometime after noon.  Can you meet me at the Sonic on Broadway?
Me: Sure.  Sounds a bit sketchy and exciting.  I'll see you tomorrow.
Voice:  Ok.

She hangs up.  I of course am tickled shitless that I'm about to surruptitiously meet a nocturnal twelve year old college girl in a parking lot to get my kids phone fixed.  Awesome.   I have to admit I did have second thoughts about this but at this point I simply had to see it through.  The curiousity was killing me.

The next day I called Brad to tell him what I was up to and suggest he call me in thirty minutes just in case I'd contracted my phone repair needs to a serial killer.

Thirty minutes late the chick finally pulls into the parking lot.  She looked to be of middle eastern descent and had clearly just woken up.  Her (I'm guessing) surfer dude boyfriend hopped immediately from the passenger side and popped the trunk as a large man made a beeline for the car.  Wheee!  Now it's getting good!  Who knows what kind of commerce I've stumbled on?  At this point I decided to take a picture in case the police had questions later.

The chick takes my phone back to her vehicle and replaces the screen - and I have to point out it has these little teeny tiny screws - in the promised 15 minutes.  Eventually I join the trunk party (I did insist the children stay in the car!) to find that they were selling phone cases too - one stop shopping!  She charged me $40 for a brand new iphone screen and threw in a case - I did have to wait 30 minutes for her to arrive after all!

So Lilly has her phone back and I got a weird story all for $40.  A bargain at twice the price!